Chapter 21 Chapter 21

Kensuke spread out the straw mats at the kitchen door and sorted persimmons with Okura's wife and Asako.He accurately and quickly found this job that could be done without walking. "Etsuko, where are the persimmons?" Kensuke raised his voice. Etsuko didn't answer. "What's the matter? Your face is very pale!" Kensuke said again. Etsuko didn't answer, but went straight through the kitchen to the back.She walked under the shade of Ke Shu without even noticing it herself.Then she threw the empty basket on the weeds under the tree, squatted down, and covered her face with her hands.

That evening, while eating dinner, Yaji stopped his chopsticks and said cheerfully: "Look at Saburo and Miyo, they look like two dogs. Miyo yelled that ants had crawled on her back. In front of me, isn’t it logical to hand over the task of catching ants to San Lang on such an occasion? So San Lang stood up with a sullen face as if he thought it was troublesome. The expression he made was like acting, even those who don’t know acting skills A monkey can do it too. However, even if his hand penetrated deeply into her back, he couldn't find the ants no matter what. "In the beginning, it was doubtful whether there were ants or not. At this time, Miyo was so itchy that he leaned forward and laughed loudly. Have you ever heard of it? Someone had a miscarriage because of laughing. But, according to According to Kensuke, when a mother who loves to laugh is pregnant, because the fetus is fully massaged in the abdomen, the mother recovers quickly after giving birth. Is this true?"

This anecdote, combined with the scene on the tree that she witnessed, brought pain to Etsuko as if she was being stabbed all over her body with needles.Not only that, but her neck ached like it was in an ice shackle.In this way, Etsuko's mental pain, like a flooded river flooding the fields, gradually invaded her physical realm.This is like a danger signal sent out when you can't mentally bear the plot you are performing when watching a play. She thought to herself: Is this all right?The boat was almost sinking.Are you still calling for help?Because you use the spiritual boat too much, people finally lose the support they seek, so that at a critical moment, they have to jump into the sea and swim with only physical strength.At that time, there is only death in front of you.Is it okay even then?

Painful, warnings can still be rewritten like this.Her organism may be in a desperate situation, and will lose its spiritual support.She was very unhappy.This kind of unhappiness is like a huge glass ball rushing up from the bottom of my heart to my throat, like my head swells and hurts almost to burst... She thought: I will never call for help! No matter what happens, in order to build a basis for believing that she is happy, Etsuko needs a brutal theory at this moment. Etsuko was thinking that she must devour everything... that she must endure recklessly everything, that she must swallow this pain as a delicacy... gold diggers cannot get a net of gold dust.Besides, it wouldn't do that either.The sand from the bottom of the river must first be fished up blindly.

Because there may be no placer gold in the sand, there may be.It is impossible for anyone to have the right to choose whether it has or not in advance.The only certainty is that those who do not mine gold remain in poverty and wretchedness. Etsuko was thinking further: And, the more certain happiness is to drink up all the water of the great rivers that flow into the sea. In this way, the limit of suffering will make people believe in the immortality of the suffering body.Is this stupid? The day before the opening of the market, after Okura and Saburo went to the market to deliver goods, Yaji swept up the scattered ropes, paper scraps, straw, broken bamboo baskets and fallen leaves, lit the fire, and then asked Etsuko to watch over the fire, with his back to the fire Continue to clean up the garbage that has not been swept away.

This evening, the fog thickened.The distinction between dusk and fog is very indistinct, as if the sun sets earlier than usual.A melancholy sunset, as if smoky, the light gradually weakens and fades into obscurity. On the surface of the foggy gray absorbent paper, a faint afterglow fell.For some reason, Yakichi felt uneasy when he was away from Etsuko's side.Maybe it was because of the fog, as long as she was four or five meters away, her figure would be blurred.The color of burning fire is especially beautiful in the fog. Etsuko was still standing, slowly raking the straw scattered around the fire with a bamboo rake.The fire blazed up as if flattering her subordinates... Miji drew a circle around Etsuko casually, swept the garbage beside Etsuko, and then circled away again.Every time he approached Etsuko, he secretly peeked at Etsuko's profile.Etsuko stopped the hand that was mechanically manipulating the bamboo handle.Although she didn't feel very cold, she roasted her hands on the extraordinarily high flames where the broken basket squeaked now and then.

"Etsuko!" Meggie dropped the broom and came running and pulled her away from the fire. It turned out that Etsuko was roasting the skin of her palm with the flame. ——This burn is not comparable to the mild burn of the middle finger last time.Her right hand is useless.The tender skin on the palm was burned and blistered.This hand, which was oiled and covered with several layers of bandages, ached all night long, depriving Etsuko of sleep. With fear, Yakichi recalled the figure of Etsuko at that moment.Where did she get this peace of mind that she gazed fearlessly at the fire and stretched out her hand to it fearlessly?Where did this obstinately sculptural calm, this almost haughty calm from which this woman, surrendered to every emotional perplexity, was momentarily freed from all perplexity, come from?

If Ren Yuezi went on like that, maybe she wouldn't get burned.Michi's voice, awakening her from the only possible balance of her soul's slumber, might have burnt her palms then. Looking at the bandage on Etsuko's hand, Yakichi became a little timid.He felt as if he had been hurt.This woman, Etsuko, can never be said to be rash, she is usually so calm that it makes people feel a little creepy.Her injury was anything but ordinary.She had a small bandage wrapped around her middle finger earlier, but when Miji asked, she smiled and said it was a fire burn.It's not like she burned it herself.Not long after the small bandage was removed, the big bandage wrapped her palm again.

A family saying that Yakichi invented in his youth and proudly disclosed to his friends is that the so-called health of a woman's body is composed of many diseases.Just like a friend of Maki who married a woman who was said to be suffering from an unexplained stomach ailment, and soon after the marriage, the wife was cured of the stomach ailment.As soon as he was relieved, he entered the period of boredom, and he was troubled by her frequent migraines again.Occasionally, he had evil thoughts and began to change his mind. When his wife noticed this, her migraines completely healed.But what followed was a relapse of stomach problems from when I was a maiden. A year later, I was diagnosed with stomach cancer and passed away soon after.It is impossible to judge which ones are true and which ones are false about women's illnesses.Just thought it was a fake illness, but suddenly gave birth to a child, and died suddenly.

"Besides, it's hard to hide this kind of carelessness in women." Miji thought, "Among my friends in my youth, there was a guy named Xingdao, who was a guy who didn't want to change his mind. His wife was very careless from the time he was in love with him. , broke a plate every day. It was pure carelessness. It is said that the wife had no idea that her husband was having an affair. Every day she was simply amazed at the unintentional gaffe of her hand. Think of the 'plate The guy named Aju in the mansion also broke the plate because of carelessness. It's really interesting."

One morning, Yaji started sweeping the courtyard with a bamboo broom like never before.His fingers were pricked.He ignored it, so that it became a little suppurative.Before I knew it, the pus disappeared again, and my finger healed.Yaji hated medicine and didn't apply it. During the day, Miji saw Etsuko's distress from the side, and felt that she could not sleep beside her at night, and his nighttime caresses became more and more lingering.Indeed, Etsuko is jealous of Saburo, and Yakichi is not only jealous of Saburo, but also jealous of Etsuko's worthless single thoughts.Even so, he felt a little unexpected happiness at being able to give himself some kind of stimulating jealousy. Yaji deliberately exaggerated and spread rumors about Saburo and Miyo in order to torture Etsuko secretly. At this time, he felt a certain kind of wonderful affection, which can also be called a paradoxical "friendship".The reason why he kept silent was because he was afraid that this kind of game would go too far and he would lose Etsuko. These days, to Meggie, she was indispensable to him, as if she had become indispensable to some crime or vice of his. Etsuko is beautiful mange.At Maki's age, mange was a necessity in order to produce itching. In order to be considerate to her, Yaji controlled the spread of rumors about Saburo and Miyo.On the contrary, Etsuko became more and more uneasy, and she wondered if something happened that she was not allowed to know.Could there be anything more serious and worse than this?This kind of question is the question of people who don't know what jealousy is.Insofar as the passion of jealousy is not swayed by factual evidence, it is rather an idealist passion. ...A week later, the bath water was boiled today, and Yakichi was the first to take a bath.As usual, he always entered the bath with Etsuko.Ke Etsuko had a bit of a cold today, so she didn't want to take a bath, so Miyoshi took a bath alone. At this time, all the women of Sugimoto's family gathered in the kitchen.Etsuko, Chieko, Asako, Miyo, and Nobuko all came to wash their dishes.Etsuko had a cold, and she wore a white silk scarf around her neck. Asako rarely talked about her husband who did not come back from Siberia. "If you want to talk about letters, August asked me to send one. He is too lazy to write, so there's nothing he can do. However, I think it would be good if one letter is mailed in a week. Although the love between husband and wife is written in words I can’t express it with words, but somehow I’m afraid of trouble, and I don’t even want to show it in words and words. I think this is the shortcoming of Japanese men.” Chieko imagined that if Yusuke - who is digging in the tundra at tens of degrees below zero - would hear... it would be ridiculous. "Look at what you said, even if you write one letter a week, it's impossible to send it all to you. Maybe Yusuke wrote it all?" "Really? So where do all the letters that are not delivered go?" "Probably for Soviet widows. Sure." After making such a joke, Chieko realized that it was a joke that somewhat hindered Etsuko.Thanks to Asako who believed it was true, she asked a stupid rhetorical question, and the situation was settled. "Really? But they can't understand letters written in Japanese!" Chieko was listening to nothing, she was helping Etsuko wash the tableware. "It will wet the bandage. I'll wash it for you." "thanks."